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Hollywood

KCMontero.com Exclusive Sneak Peek: The Dark Knight Rises

Posted by Degenerate || @Alvin_Louis

via uberhumor


Easter Egg Hunt 2012

Easter Egg Hunts are fun! Happy hunting! Brought to you by Degenerate The Easter Bunny.


Self Breast Exam by Olivia Munn

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. (Olivia Munn is KC’s future girlfriend)


Jim Carrey is not creepy, Emma Stone

I guess I’m gonna make a video now. My crush is gonna love me. No, she won’t get a restraining order. — Degenerate


Will Smith walked in on Jada and Marc Anthony “watching a DVD”

From TMZ:

In Touch Weekly claims in early August Will had become increasingly suspicious that his wife was having an affair with her “HawthoRNe” co-star Marc Anthony and secretly flew home from a movie shoot. If you’ve ever seen “HawthoRNE,” you might understand why.

The mag claims Will walked in the house, found Marc Anthony and Jada together and left the house crying.

Reps for Will and Jada said Tuesday Jada had not been unfaithful to Will, specifically mentioning Marc Anthony in the denial. A source close to the couple tells TMZ … Marc was at Jada’s home, but in April not August, when he went over to look at a DVD.

It’s possible that Marc Anthony wanted to watch a DVD at the Smiths because his assistants were out of town and he didn’t have any money to buy himself his own copy. He probably doesn’t know what Netflix is. There are a lot of possibilities. It’s also possible that “watching a DVD” is code for fucking. Will Smith probably left crying because he wanted to erase a part of his memory but didn’t have a neuralyzer. —Degenerate

This is a neuralyzer:


Stars are so demanding (Paula Abdul, Jay-Z, Beyonce, J-Lo, Gaga, iddy, KC Montero)

We all hear about ridiculous diva demands so we decided to blog about some of them.

According to Us Magazine, Paula Abdul’s assistants must do the following:

Each assistant must carry and use a tape recorder at all times “because she doesn’t trust her own conversations,” the source says.

“She also makes them check the TiVo for any mention of her and put it on a DVD.”

Abdul team members should also prepare to go through her email — and respond to family and friends as the star herself.

The “Forever Your Girl” singer also needed constant reminders that she is a “warrior, survivor and gift,” adds the insider.

(Jay-Z and Beyonce, J-Lo, Gaga, iddy and KC Montero’s demands after the cut)
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The Hulkster’s daughter is naked for PETA

Hulk Hogan’s daughter Brooke is naked for PETA. Of course the Hulkster covered her up. Not after the cut though. So watchu gonna do, brother, when KCMontero.com readers want to see more!?! (Sorry, I had to try. Read the rest of the page though if you’re into dog cages and whatnot.)
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Maybe 90210’s AnnaLynne McCord is dating the Green Goblin


KC knows what it’s like to be Alexander Skarsgard

I don’t know why I laughed when I saw the picture above (tall guy is Alexander Skarsgard from True Blood) but I was surprised when KC did not find it funny. It turns out KC knows what it’s like to be Alexander Skarsgard.

Degenerate: “How often do gay guys give you the Alexander Skarsgard treatment?”
KC: “I get manhandled in provincial shows. Walking the crowd I nearly get fully masturbated.”

[Editor’s note: GLAAD can sue us if we don’t include this song clip. It’s just the law now.]


Lindsay forgot something

I think Lindsay Lohan is trying to get the public’s sympathy. Maybe she wants us to think she’s broke now that’s why she can’t afford to buy a bra. She used to be my age but now she’s 40 and I’m not even in my 30’s yet.
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Hulk Hogan loves his UK Hulkamaniacs


Heidi Klum is not topless here so don’t click

Don’t click “Read the rest of the page”. No topless pictures here. Move along.
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Miley Cyrus is dating Seth Rogen… I think.

I’m told that it’s not Seth Rogen. It’s a fella named Liam Hemsworth.

More photos after the cut.
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Martin Schoeller is a kick-ass photographer

We here at KCMontero.com appreciate art. We’re sophisticated.
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Ke$ha teaches us how to locate the G-spot


Wingardium Leviosa! Oh, that’s Wats on.

Because we’re Lord Voldemort Harry Potter fans, here’s Emma Watson showing us what’s on.

Via The Sun:

Guess the color then find out if you’re correct after the cut.
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Kelly Rowland wins the nip slip war..by showing whole boob! tEnks PohwZ

kelly rowland wardrobe malfunction

Not to be outdone by Nicki Minaj’s nip slip the other day, Kelly Rowland decides to show her whole boob and a little bit of the other one.

see more photos after the jump…
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New book tells how Jen Aniston threw Brad Pitt out

Hollywood producer Arnon Milchan’s bookConfidential: The Life of Secret Agent Turned Hollywood Tycoon now gives us more details about how the Aniston-Pitt-Jolie love triangle went down. Jen threw Brad out after his confession which probably didn’t have a part II like Usher’s. This is news to me because I used to tell my ex-girlfriend I’m in love with Angelina Jolie but she never threw me out until I farted in her car.

From Radar Online:

Arnon Milchan produced Mr. & Mrs. Smith, and he’d originally planned on Pitt and Nicole Kidman as the leads but there was no chemistry between the pair and Pitt dropped out. Then Milchan decided to go with Angelina Jolie as his Mrs. Smith, and Brad jumped right back into the project, suggesting he may have already been infatuated with her, the authors write.

The two clicked right from the start.

“At first, Jen didn’t believe he was involved with Angelina. She started asking around but no one would tell her anything because they were loyal to Brad, so she asked him point blank. He denied it,” the book recounts.

The production, and Brad’s PR rep went into full denial mode as rumors of the affair spread through Hollywood.

Brad and Jen then went to the Caribbean with best pals Courteney Cox and David Arquette on a pre-planned trip to celebrate New Years, 2005, and that’s apparently where Brad fessed up.

“He eventually admitted he was in love with Angelina. Jen was furious and threw him out,” authors Meir Doran and Joseph Gelman write. The outcome, they say, was Jen striking first “by throwing Pitt out.”

To keep the press and fans at bay on what was really happening, when the pair returned to Los Angeles, Brad moved into producer Milchan’s home.

“Brad drove each day to the set, and everywhere else, on a motorcycle and he wore a wraparound helmet with a tinted visor so no one would recognize him. He stayed with me for the duration of filming,” Milchan is quoted as saying.

On January 7, 2005, the pair announced their split, and it was Aniston who filed for divorce on March 25 of that year after seeing the stunning first photographs of Brad and Angelina and her son Maddox on a beach in Africa.


Ashton is… duh… WINNING!

Ashton Kutcher, whose Two and a Half Men character name is Walden Schmidt according to Access Hollywood, got a standing O at his first taping. (I don’t know what O stands for. Orgasm? I don’t know.)

Radar Online reports:

The taping of the first new season episode ended Friday night with a standing ovation for Ashton Kutcher and all the returning cast members.

Kutcher, Jon Cyrer, Angus T. Jones, Holland Taylor, Conchata Ferrell and Marin Hinkle all took their individual bows — with the audience going wild for Ashton — before lining the stage for the traditional group moment.

The first episode features Charlie Harper’s funeral — there’s no coming back for Sheen — and the introduction of Kutcher as internet billionaire Walter Schmidt, who buys Harper’s Malibu house.


Selena and Bieber are on a break because of Chris Brown & Lil Wayne

Bros over hoes, Gomez!

Because the world needs to know why Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber are on a break, we did our research and found out Chris Brown and Lil Wayne are the culprits.

Selena wants Justin to stop hanging out with his rapper friends. I can only assume she fears Baby Justin would soon be carrying guns and get a facial tattoo because of Lil Wayne. She shouldn’t be acting this way because Chris Brown might flip and teach The Biebs how to put a woman in her place (I don’t know why I just said that. I’m listening to Eminem’s “Kim” right now).

The Sun reports:

The pair are taking time out after Selena, 19, ordered the clean-cut pop idol to ditch his new pals, The Sun can reveal.

It came after Justin, 17, arrived at one of Selena’s gigs in Florida last week with rap ace Sean Kingston, 21 – a former child burglar.

Justin is also close to gun-charge former convict Lil Wayne and has released a track with R&B’s Chris Brown, who beat ex-lover Rihanna.

Little girls are probably happy about this. They also have more hate for Selena now that she’s the girl who made Baby Justin cry.


Kelly Osbourne called Christina Aguilera a *unt (it’s not aunt)

Kelly Osbourne just called Christina Aguilera a “fat bitch” for past grievances. Another Celebrity Death Match is the making (MTV should bring that show back and play music videos). Kelly would beat Xtina by biting her head off because I have a feeling that’s the way Ozzy rolls.

Via US Magazine:

After Joan Rivers, 78, said Aguilera looked “stuffed into” a Givenchy LBD at an event in Munich, Germany last month (and likened her to “Snooki’s Scandinavian cousin”), Osbourne chimed in: “Maybe she is just becoming the fat bitch she was born to be. I don’t know. She was a c**t to me. And she bought my house!”

Osbourne’s digs at 30-year-old Aguilera’s fluctuating weight didn’t end there. “She called me fat for so many f***ing years,” Osbourne continued, “so you know what? F**k you! You’re fat too.”


Planking is for the old, Jebbing is for the young (Hef is old)

Two things: One, planking is almost as old as Hugh Hefner. Two, when old people do “cool stuff”, said “cool stuff” becomes lame (Article 6, Section 9 of the Rules of Cool).

Tell your friends planking is no longer cool. Jebbing is the new craze.

After the cut: Planking is only cool when done this way:
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Miley smokes while in a bikini; Butt eats bikini

After showing support for gay marriage by getting a tattoo and giving them the finger, Miley Cyrus went somewhere in a bikini (Who cares where. She’s in a bikini!) She also tried to give her dog lung cancer smoked a cigarette.

From The Sun:

MILEY Cyrus looked smoking hot on holiday — despite taking a drag on a cigarette.

The 18-year-old held pet dog Floyd in one hand while puffing on the cig in the other.

Singer Miley — sporting a frilly bikini — was taking a break with Australian boyfriend Liam Hemsworth and two pals.

Looking tanned and toned she was seen strolling along a jetty and later climbed on a jet ski.

(More pictures after the cut)
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Kate Upton is an Optical Illusion

I can’t remember Kate Upton’s face no matter how many times I watch her videos. Do you guys have the same problem or is it just me?— Degenerate


“I have the smallest penis in the world.” – Enrique Iglesias

Via The Sun:

ODDBALL Enrique Iglesias suffered an embarrassing concert cock-up — by telling fans he has a tiny willy.

The Spanish singer stunned gig-goers by going into excruciating details about his shortcomings in the trouser department.

Onlookers were left baffled by his odd behaviour at the gig in Melbourne, Australia, on Tuesday night — which also included an episode where he discussed losing his virginity.

During the bizarre 20-minute interlude he declared: “I have the smallest penis in the world. I’m serious.”

He began the unexpected behaviour by inviting three men from the audience to join him on stage.

The foursome perched on a bench from where the conversation took an X-rated turn.
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KC’s future girlfriend is Team Hef

Team Hef is in full force after Crytal Harris talked poop about Hugh Hefner’s sexual prowess.

Hiromi Oshima, a Playboy Playmate and KC Montero’s future girlfriend (they follow each other on Twitter and DM each other sweet nothings – just guessing about the latter part), spoke to People and defended Hef’s mastery in the art of coitus.

“I’ve heard girls say they have a lot of fun in there,” says Hiromi Oshima during Playboy TV’s “TV for 2” party at the Playboy Mansion.

“Hef is a lover,” says Dani Mathers, who works at Playboy TV. “I think they definitely had sex more than that one time and it wasn’t two minutes. Hef definitely has a sex life.”

“I think the whole thing with Crystal is really sad, and Hef is such an amazing man. He provides so much for everyone that’s around him and all of the Playmates,” says Shanna McLaughlin, who appeared in the magazine in July 2010. “I think some things should be kept private between two people, especially in a break-up scenario.”

And NO. They’re not just defending Hef because they work for Playboy. I don’t work for Playboy and I defend Hef.

P.S. Uncle Hef, if you’re reading this, please follow me on Twitter so I can DM you my home address. You don’t have to give me a free lifetime subscription, but if you insist it would be rude for me to say no. Thanks. — Degenerate


Photo of the Day: Ryan Seacrest and his 23-year-old Lady Friend

Ryan Seacrest, 36, molests his girlfriend Julianne Hough (I like that surname) at her 23rd birthday party. And we all thought he was gay. Wait, what? Girls touch each other’s boobs in the ladies room?

—Degenerate


Vanessa Hudgens’ makeover. She wears clothes now. Baggy clothes.

Vanessa Hudgens is continuing to evolve as an actress. I was amazed by her transformation in the movie “Sucker Punch” because it was the first time I saw her wear clothes. I “liked” her on Facebook and she shocked me when she posted this on her fan page.

“Hey guys, what’s happenin? I have been so stupidly busy working on Gimme Shelter. I’m so excited and proud of the work I’ve been doing and let me tell you, you all are going to be SHOCKED with how I look in this movie. It’s crazy sauce. Lol only one more week of shooting till I’m done! Xx V”

So Vanessa Hudgens will be starring in the drama “Gimme Shelter” where she plays the role of a pregnant teen who becomes homeless after her Wall Street father (George of the Jungle) disagrees with her decision to have the baby. She will also sport short hair and wear baggy clothes in the movie (Justin Bieber was not available, allegedly).

Think of “Gimme Shelter” as Justin Bieber meets Juno but with a douchebag father.

—Degenerate


Rachel, Kurt and Finn are leaving Glee; KC Montero wants to audition


Lea Michele, Chris Colfer and Cory Monteith are leaving Glee after season 3 according to this post .

This is sad news for KC because he is such a big Gleek. He gets cranky every time he fails to watch Glee (which is why we urge you to buy and send him the Glee DVD box set). But we here at KCMontero.com are optimists. Look at the bright side: Charice might get a bigger role in season 4 and KC loves her like most Filipinos.

It’s a sad day for Gleeks. But we still have a full season to enjoy and appreciate Rachel, Kurt and Finn. Appreciate Kurt Hummel’s humjob (short for “Hummel job”). Appreciate Rachel’s annoying yet talented personality. Appreciate Finn and whatever it is he does on the show.

I’m personally just waiting for Matthew Morrison and his Will Schuester character to leave the show so my mentor KC Montero can replace him. That would be awesome. Imagine KC and Charice doing a duet. Awesome. — Degenerate


M.I.A. New Video for XXXO

It seems like they actually tried to make M.I.A. look actually cute in this video. I’d say they did a decent job. It’s very catchy song, we play on our station all the time. To complete the look of beautiful people in this video they should’ve inserted Jayz who’s in the remix but unfortunately not in this video. Enjoy.