It seems only yesterday when we last spoke, but it has been a few months. Remember me? My name is Nikki, I’m from Cebu. I messaged you on FB once and offered to give you a free sensual massage. I gave you my number but you never texted me. You gave me a call instead and then hung up on me.
A few weeks after you rudely hung up on me while I was starting to get aroused, one of my friends in Manila told me that the conversation you had with me was heard by your listeners because we were on air. This hurts me a lot. First, you tease me by pretending to be interested in my sensual massage offer. Then you hung (no pun intended) up on me, and to top it all off, you embarrassed me on air!!!!
I am now rescinding my free sensual massage offer because you hurt me. You had me doubting my skills as a sensual massage expert. Are Skratchmark’s hands softer than mine? You will never know because I will no longer give you a free sensual massage. You have to pay me now if you want a sensual massage. I am the best! I have tourist clients who pay me P2500 per hour and P3000 for extra service. I even let them touch my butt if they’re nice.
And another thing: How dare you question my womanhood! My name is Nikki, not Nicholas! I may not be as pretty as your co-host Kat Alano, but my voice is definitely lower than hers. My skin may not be as fair, but I bet I have smoother skin because I shave everyday! You really hurt my feelings. You no longer arouse me, so don’t expect me to be as wild as I am with my favorite clients like WR (his initials, he’s high profile) when I give you a sensual massage. It’s not a question of “if you want me to give you a sensual massage.” It’s a matter of WHEN because I know you want me to.
Never question my sexuality ever again! I’m not gay. You should know who the real gay people are, like your fellow castaway in Survivor who used to cry a lot whose name I don’t remember. The one who’s not taller than you. He’s a gay.
I hope you become a better person and let me give you a sensual massage for a fee. This is the only way I can forgive you. I will give you a discount because I am a nice person. Call or text me. You know you want to.
P.S. I love your younger brother Troy.
FU KC Montero!
I’m a butch lesbian and I hate you so very much. You are such a lying, manipulative asshole.
I followed you on Twitter because my other lesbian friends said you used to be a VJ for MTV and they told me you’re cool with us lesbians. It didn’t take long for me tofind out that you’re only cool with lipstick lesbians. You are a hypocrite and a liar. Remember when you tweeted, telling your followers to follow wendellvans because he gives away shoes to people who follow him? Total lie! I asked him about how to claim the shoes and he didn’t tweet back. You lied! I tweeted him again a few weeks later and he DM’d me saying he didn’t even say he was going to give shoes to his followers. He then DM’d me another message saying he’s just pretending to like you so Cassandra would give him hummer – whatever the hell that means because he told me hummer’s not a car. You’re a liar! I don’t like the way you lie, but I surewouldn’t want to treat you the way Chris Brown treated Rihanna! (more…)
Dear KC Montero,
When I heard that you were actually giving people the chance to write you letters regarding the hate we harbor inside for you, I had to jump to the occasion. I think that you are one of the most overrated hosts in television. The fact that I say “overrated” is a compliment. To even give you a “rating” disgusts me. I’m not sure what you do is called hosting. You stand on stage, make goofy faces and try to make pa-cute by butchering the Tagalog language. Mr. KC Montero, I hate you . Maybe it’s not entirely your fault, though. Maybe no one has ever had the balls to tell you off. Maybe they have, but because of your oddly thick skull you never listen. You seem to be oblivious to the fact that you are an extreme waste of space. That’s only for TV.
Now the geniuses at AYC have decided to give you a microphone for U92? I fail to see the rationing in this one. While you may have been able to fool people on stage by masking your talentless ass by acting like an idiot. Radio on the other hand is a profession for speaker. People who know how to talk, I know most of you may understand this, but for KC and his pea brain you have to repeat yourself. Your show is weak, you never have a topic, Justin Bieber is redundant, Lesbian thursday consists of one lesbian, you beg for callers, you make fun of other people and you’re not funny. You always brag about all the cool stuff you get for free on the show, but heres the truth. You get old siopao from Gourmet Pao, cupcakes that weren’t meant for you from Sweet Patti Cakes, throw away t-shirts from Greyone and factory defects meant for the swap meet from Vans.
I really would like to continue with this letter, but I have better things to do. Which means I have to take a- YOU.. that’s what I call it when I have to take a shit.
Thank you for reading my letter. More power to U92 and the other DJs, you on the other hand can go play in traffic.
Love your brother,
Send me funny hate mail for my new segment, “FU.K.C.” Get it? FU….KC…email@example.com. Here’s my first one!
Greetings, d-bag! How are you? Me, I have a lot of problems. I have a lot of problems with you.
I used to like you back in the day because I love MTV, especially Joey Mead who was my most favorite VJ. I even bought that shampoo regularly because you endorsed it and 7 years later I started to have bald spots. Now I can never have hair like Justin Bieber’s. And if that’s not enough, you keep tweeting and talking about Justin Bieber to rub it in. I’ve unfollowed you to tell you I don’t like you anymore but I still check your tweets regularly.
You see KC Montero, you ruin a lot of things for me. I think you were put here in this earth to ruin my life. As if you don’t know it yet! Hello?!
Morning Would was Mo Twister’s competition. I like Mo Twister more than I ever liked you. You call yourself his friend yet you went ahead and became his competitor. Remember when Gretchen was interviewed and asked about how she felt that she and Claudine were going head-to-head that one time and then she cried and walked out? That’s because she was hurt. I didn’t see you do that because maybe you’re heartless and you don’t love Mo – you’re just pretending so he goes out on dates with you. (more…)