watch till the end for a suprise.
I’m Fat!! Oh yeah and proud! Well not really, but at least I make money out of all these flabs. Been big ever since I could remember. Well except one time I lost so much weight, I lost one person. That was the time before I got married. Had to lose weight man, bridal gowns are expensive and the more textile used the more it costs!!! Besides, my picture will be taken and that picture will be hung in the house. Not only my home, but in my in the in-laws home so that look will be locked into immortality. At least my grand kids would say “Lola you’re so pretty and sexy” followed by what the hell happened! Dang kids now, they are so advanced! Its not that I have apo’s yet, im just preparing.
Well, to all my Fatty peeps or to anyone who can relate don’t you just hate those fats under your armpit? The one that pops right above your bra and peeps in the armhole? I hate that! I call mine “ palikpik ni Orca”. Losing weight is so darnn hard! I can’t buy clothes anywhere here is Asia. These asians are sooooooo puny. They have to be careful taking a shower or they might flow down the drain. American size? Now that is friendly. I can get a size 0… PLUS size that is. Hey, its still a 0, I don’t care what you say, it’s a freakin 0!!!!!! I’ve been called a lot of names, sheez stick and stones and all that crap but I have to admit it hurts sometimes. Then sometimes when you are out with your gorgeous friends hoping their beauty would rub off on you and when all the boys approach you thinking it did, yun pala they want an intro. F them, but it’s a good thing I have a sense of humor. In the end someone is bagged and I’m still fat!
Ok, enough ranting on all these fats. At least I have 2 beautiful kids to show and a showbiz career, if you call it that. My advice is to try and try, if you don’t succeed wtf embrace the bulge if you can reach it. Like I always say, “if there are things in life that are to good to be true they’re either immoral, illegal or fattening”… Ruby Rodriguez
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR.
I really don’t care if you’re fat, skinny, white, brown, purple, or yellow. I am an equal opportunity man. I don’t discriminate against any type of women. Except the women born with a penis. -KC
A friend of mine asked me to put together a few words for his blog. It’s been 20 minutes of thinking and I can’t seem to think of a topic. So now I am just typing the first thing that comes to mind. Im hungry. Just kidding.
Ever since I was young i’ve had a passion for music. My mother sings, my dad plays the piano, my 2 sisters sing and my brother used to dance. My sister Jhing was recording original music, was in a band and a couple singing groups at 16 years old. I looked up to her because she had endless perseverance when it came to her music. She also taught me how to sing. Thank God she did or else I would’ve become a doctor or a lawyer of some sort. But thats not the point. The point is that music is within in our blood.
In a way my family directed me into becoming a singer. Back in the 90’s my gigantic family would have parties every weekend. And every get together my mom would stop the whole party to make me sing right then and there for everyone. I would hate it. We would fight all the time about that. But because I respect and love my mother so much I would always let her get her way. I would end up singing for everyone all the time. Of course my uncle Bob would be accompanying me on his guitar.
My cousin would enter me in singing competitions at her collage. I was the only kid competing and i’m glad to say I took home first place. I won $400 that night then blew it the next day at the mall buying god knows what. What a waste of money.
Then I became a lead singer for my uncle Bob’s band called the Howlers. It was fun because i got to perform with my sister Jhing all the time. I used to sing Earth Wind & Fire, Ricky Martin and a bunch of other songs all night. Since each member of the Howlers could sing, you name it we sang it. We sang everything. The crowd would love it and dance all night. Hahah that was so back in the day.
I was looking through my photos last night and stumbled upon 2 not-so-pleasing photos. Which made me realize something. It made me realize that I am aging or in short, getting old. Not as if I’m old OLD. But it did make me begin to think and aside from the fact that someone’s bugging me to write this (YOU KNOW WHO I’M TALKING ABOUT MR. MONTERO). I’ve come up with a list of signs that you know you’re getting older.
YOU’RE GETTING OLD
- When you choose beer over soft drinks.
- When you can’t eat pork fat as much (because you know your blood pressure will rise).
- When start calling you Ms. Mr. Ma’am Sir and it gets TOO ANNOYING!
- When you start to attend too many weddings and funerals.
- When you choose to stay home than to go clubbing.
- When you already do things that can put you behind bars.
- When it’s already an effort to look good.
- When you’re eating chocolates not because you love them, but because it makes you feel better after a bad break up.
- When you have to think of bills rather than boys/girls.
- When your mind makes contracts your body can’t meet.
- When you don’t care when you’re wearing white socks with black shoes (AND I REALLY DON’T).
- When when sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
- When when there’s nothing left to learn the hard way.
- When you’re told to act your age (YES MOM).
- When you stop being excited about your birthday cake because chances are the candles will reveal your real age.
- When you choose to let your ass warm up on your chair rather than bringing it to the gym.
And last but not the least
becomes this girl who doesn’t want to be photographed in her bikini, who also needed to crop the photo so she won’t be embarrassed.
If you can relate to all these signs, welcome to the club brothers and sisters!