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The RH Bill, the Church and Degenerate Kid’s Inglorious Bastards

Written by Degenerate Kid who is a freelance writer for some cool magazine you probably never heard of

The RH Bill

You probably know what the RH Bill is by now. To be honest, I didn’t even know what the RH Bill was eight months ago. I just knew that bishops and Catholic groups hated it so I thought it was awesome.

I was freeloading at a friend’s house when we saw Carlos Celdran on the news. Mr. Celdran was on the news because of some stunt he pulled to raise awareness about the RH Bill and why the church frowns upon it. My friend asked me if I know what the RH Bill is, so I said some semi-ignorant stuff because I’m a know-it-all. My friend went to his room and I went to the guest room. We did the same thing: we googled the RH Bill and got smarter (props to Carlos Celdran).

In a nutshell, The Reproductive Health Bill provides for universal distribution of family planning devices, and its enforcement. It means educating the people about… reproductive health.

The Church

The church and their bishops did not like the RH Bill fan page on Facebook. They say that it is against their beliefs. They say that sex is about procreation. They say sex should only be between husband and wife. They say sex is sacred.

They’re right. Sex is about reproduction. Does it mean that a husband and a wife cannot practice? I don’t know about you, but if I get married and decide to have a child with my future wife Dianna Agron, I want to practice first. If I want to make a baby, I want to at least practice first. Da Vinci did not paint the Mona Lisa without practicing first.

Is sex really sacred? If you’re married, please hit the comments because I really want to know if you feel a holy presence while having sex with your spouse. Do you think about Jesus while reaching orgasm? Because that would be sick.

The church is acting ignorant with their latest statements. Statements like sperm cells are unborn babies. Statements like teachers who are pro-RH Bill don’t have the right to teach. Statements like people who use condoms have marital problems (which is ignorant because it’s like saying all priests are child molesters).

Degenerate’s Inglorious Bastards

I was raised well like corn and raised Catholic like Children of the Corn, so I feel guilty.

I’m a virgin and I have never masturbated in my life because I wear a purity ring. I just feel so guilty because I have nocturnal emissions (I believe the scientific term is “wet dreams”) every time I watch Glee. I watch Glee, sleep, and wake up in the middle of the night so I can clean myself up in the shower because I have unconsciously committed murder. If sperm cells are unborn children, they deserve proper burial rites. I have called my parish about this but they think it’s ridiculous. Please pray for my inglorious bastards.

Hit the comments and tell me how ignorant I am. – Degenerate Kid

P.S. It’s just jizz. Get over it.


9 responses

  1. Eun Mee

    Really well written ๐Ÿ˜€ ehehehe

    Honestly.. i didn’t know about the RH bill and just googled it after reading this article ๐Ÿ˜€ hahaha

    i don’t understand why pro-rh bill teachers cannot teach etc… a bit stupid… it’s just an opinion and they are not communist!! hahah

    May 19, 2011 at 6:44 am

  2. raggit

    discussions about the rh bill is a waste of time, really. id rather talk about pnoy’s love life.

    May 19, 2011 at 7:09 am

    • bugoy

      pnoy’s love life? come on… is it the end of the world already?

      give him some space… stupid media are all over the issue though.

      as if his sister isn’t getting too much media attention. stupid kris.

      May 19, 2011 at 7:14 am

  3. bugoy

    good take on this bill… by the way, your other blog entries suck-ass..

    your radio show sucks-ass, except for the songs being played

    you’re an awful DJ for MTv, if it wasn’t for my love for hip-hop/rap, i would’ve never watched mtv jams.

    you are annoying, trying to crossover from TV to radio and vice-versa.. its just not working for ya

    i don’t know why celebs wanna hang out with you, might be because you are white.

    another white boy trying to be black…

    look, nothing is working for you. give it up kid. life is better on the couch.

    May 19, 2011 at 7:11 am

  4. Eun Mee

    @bugoy for someone who says the blog sucks and KC sucks… you know a lot of info on him…
    and FYI this was written by Degenerated Kid and not KC

    May 19, 2011 at 7:13 am

  5. kookoo

    RH bill is a waste of time and tax money…

    if this bill will pass then I’ll create a company that will manufacture condoms!!! that way i can make big bucks!!! and yeah i’ll hire ex-convicts so i can get tax discount too!!! in about a year I’ll be swimming in a pool full of tax money!!! yeah!

    May 20, 2011 at 1:24 am

  6. C

    The RH Bill needs to be passed and it’s not a waste of money. It’s pro-choice. We’re overpopulated and the poor needs to be given a choice. From 50 million, we’ve ballooned to 90 million. It’s pro family-planning.

    May 21, 2011 at 6:36 am

  7. This is the best article I have read about RH Bill. ๐Ÿ™‚

    May 25, 2011 at 3:54 pm

  8. Kire Laucsap

    I hate that you stole this poem from the movie 10 Things I Hate About You. Just because the movie was based in your hometown doesnt give you the right to plagiarize.

    June 30, 2011 at 7:28 pm

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