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Archive for January, 2011

Top 5 Reasons Why You Should Follow DJ Skratchmark on Twitter

By Degenerate Kid

I once whined blogged about people tweeting other people to follow them back and how funny it is. (Read it here). Now I ask you to follow DJ Skratchmark. It’s not him asking, it’s me – completely different.

When you’re asked to follow someone on Twitter, the obvious question is: WHY? Here are the top 5 reasons why you should follow DJ Skratchmark:

Reason #5: He is one of the best DJs in the country. If you’re a music lover, you are not cool unless you follow DJ Skratchmark.

Reason #4: He’s KKK but he is not Ku Klux Klan. He knows his Philippine History. He loves the KKK (Kataas-taasan, Kagalang-galangang Katipunan ng mga Anak ng Bayan). He is a big Andres Bonificio fan. He’s a Patriot, a Makabayan, a Katipunero. He spells ‘scratch’ with a K because he embraces his Katipunero roots. Everyday he practices his Tagalog so he can speak it more fluently. His catchphrase is “Pa-kiss naman sabay hug.”

Reason #3: He’s a very good wingman and/or dating coach (like Hitch). Having trouble with the ladies? Tweet DJ Skratchmark and he will tweet you back with profound advice. Rumor has it that he once mentored the Jonas brothers. Now Disney wants his head because purity ring sales have dropped. If you want to lose weight and your virginity, DJ Skratchmark will help you.

Reason #2: He punched Chuck Norris in the leg when he was a toddler. He survived. He is the boy that lived. He’s almost like Harry Potter but less gay more masculine.

Reason #1: Only a few people know about KC Montero’s generosity. Even fewer know that DJ Skratchmark is more generous than KC. If Oprah’s generous because she flew her audience to Australia, then DJ Skratchmark must be as generous because he’s brought all of his ex-girlfriends to South Africa. If you follow him, there’s a good chance he’ll send you to South Africa too.

Follow DJ Skratchmark