Battle of the Bulge..a confession by Ruby Rodriguez
I’m Fat!! Oh yeah and proud! Well not really, but at least I make money out of all these flabs. Been big ever since I could remember. Well except one time I lost so much weight, I lost one person. That was the time before I got married. Had to lose weight man, bridal gowns are expensive and the more textile used the more it costs!!! Besides, my picture will be taken and that picture will be hung in the house. Not only my home, but in my in the in-laws home so that look will be locked into immortality. At least my grand kids would say “Lola you’re so pretty and sexy” followed by what the hell happened! Dang kids now, they are so advanced! Its not that I have apo’s yet, im just preparing.
Well, to all my Fatty peeps or to anyone who can relate don’t you just hate those fats under your armpit? The one that pops right above your bra and peeps in the armhole? I hate that! I call mine “ palikpik ni Orca”. Losing weight is so darnn hard! I can’t buy clothes anywhere here is Asia. These asians are sooooooo puny. They have to be careful taking a shower or they might flow down the drain. American size? Now that is friendly. I can get a size 0… PLUS size that is. Hey, its still a 0, I don’t care what you say, it’s a freakin 0!!!!!! I’ve been called a lot of names, sheez stick and stones and all that crap but I have to admit it hurts sometimes. Then sometimes when you are out with your gorgeous friends hoping their beauty would rub off on you and when all the boys approach you thinking it did, yun pala they want an intro. F them, but it’s a good thing I have a sense of humor. In the end someone is bagged and I’m still fat!
Ok, enough ranting on all these fats. At least I have 2 beautiful kids to show and a showbiz career, if you call it that. My advice is to try and try, if you don’t succeed wtf embrace the bulge if you can reach it. Like I always say, “if there are things in life that are to good to be true they’re either immoral, illegal or fattening”… Ruby Rodriguez
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR.
I really don’t care if you’re fat, skinny, white, brown, purple, or yellow. I am an equal opportunity man. I don’t discriminate against any type of women. Except the women born with a penis. -KC